What if doubt isn't the opposite of faith, but the loom it is woven on? Writer Miriam Castellan joins us to talk about losing her religion in her thirties, finding something deeper in her forties, and why the frayed edges of belief are often where the light gets in.
In this episode
03:02 — The unravelling. Miriam on the winter her inherited faith quietly came apart — and why she didn't panic.
12:45 — Mending, not replacing. Why she kept the old prayers, and how they slowly changed their meaning.
21:20 — Writing as weaving. Her practice of morning pages: three pages, no editing, all honesty.
29:10 — For the doubters listening. A gentle blessing for everyone whose faith feels threadbare.
“I stopped asking whether my faith was strong enough, and started asking whether it was honest enough. Everything changed.”
About our guest
Miriam Castellan is the author of three books on contemplative living, including the beloved Held Loosely. She leads writing retreats in the Pyrenees each autumn and keeps goats, against all advice, on a steep hillside.
A practice from this episode
Take one belief you hold tightly and write it at the top of a page. Beneath it, write every question you have ever had about it — no censoring. Then sit with the page, not to solve it, but to honour it. Faith that can survive your honesty is faith worth keeping.
Hosted by Elena Marsh · Guest: Miriam Castellan